


What I Never Wished to Be

by ClaraAnne



Category: 2P Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Personality, Alternate Universe, Crimes & Criminals, F/M, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Torture, Imprisonment, Inhuman Character(s), Mental Breakdown, Mental Disintegration, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Originally Published on Quotev, Past Torture, Psychological Torture, Psychopathic Tendencies, Slow To Update, Torture, Unethical Experimentation, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-24 17:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4928923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaraAnne/pseuds/ClaraAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She killed them all...<br/>Her own race. <br/>She killed humans<br/>Hundreds <br/>before she was caught.<br/>By why were they able to catch something far stronger than they? <br/>Emotions long gone.<br/>She locked them away,<br/>But the nightmares haunted her and she finally escaped.<br/>What did she escape? <br/>All who know are dead by her hand. <br/>The killing and death altered her personality. <br/>Causing another to form. <br/>One that craved blood. <br/>One that was....</p>
<p>A psychopath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will sometimes have notes at the beginning of each chapter, we will see. Also I will tell you now, I don't usually update regularly so when I reach the end of what I have typed, there is no guarantee that I will update in any timely fashion. Also, don't be afraid to point out any of my mistakes. It helps me grow as an author. Comments are always welcome, but please don't be too harsh. I don't mind you saying that there are some flaws in my story, but if you don't enjoy my story, then please just move on and there will be no hard feelings. Everyone can stay happy.

The police were very proud when they finally caught her. She seemed emotionless and seemed to have no conscience. This strange young lady had killed hundreds without the slightest hesitation. Yet she finally stood and waited while they captured her. She did not fight. Someone as powerful as herself could've killed hundreds more of the police before they might have managed to overwhelm her. She had been holding two semicircles of a metal band that was bloody and she was bleeding her own blood and not just covered in the blood of others. Her eyes....they were amethyst. Not the color in the reports, but they didn't care, there was no mistaking her with the bloody trail she left behind her. They had seized the chance and captured her while she was strangely waiting....

Her blood-red floor-length hair covered her face as a guard came into the room to check on her. She was held to the wall by metal strips in a semicircle that nearly encased her body. He grabbed some of her hair and pulled it away from her face. She looked up at him with an emotionless, cold, and uncaring look on her face. He released her and left the cell. She was fed once a day by hand, because they would not release her bonds. She was far too dangerous. They would spray her down with a hose once a week instead of bathing her. Her cell was four small walls that were blank concrete, and 5ft thick. The only people she ever saw, was the guard to check on her and her meal server, which was usually another inmate in the prison. Most of the time it was the ones who misbehaved. If they tried to mess with her, she would manage to scare them into much better prisoners. To be sent to have to feed her, was the worst punishment to them. One girl, a very smart and troublesome thief, named Lexis, was just placed into the prison. This is where our story begins. 

 

(I feel now  
This being inside me.  
Her soul is black.  
Her heart is ice.  
She craves blood.  
She is...  
No, we are...  
A psychopath)

Lexis as in trouble for the third time for stealing.  
In a prison. This time the guards and inmates looked on her with pity. She was to feed the psychopath that was basically stuck to the wall. One woman with three missing fingers came up to her. "Don't mess with her, she may be locked up, but that won't stop her from getting you." She showed Lexis her three missing fingers. "She's damn creepy. It's like nothing you've ever seen before."  
"Thanks for the advice," snapped Lexis. The guards gave Lexis the bowl of gruel that was for this psychopath. They led her way down below the facility and down a maze of hallways. Finally they arrived and the guards ushered Lexis in, and shutting the door behind her. Lexis looked to see a grungy, dirty mess of a woman hidden by her long blood colored hair. The bound woman, looked up and revealed a thin dirty face, but this just made her unique and beautiful amethyst eyes stand out. The psychopath gazed out with a distant emotionless look. Lexis shivered, she had never felt this feeling of being utterly and completely creeped out, just by a look. Lexis walked up to the woman and was hesitant to touch her. The scarlet haired girl opened her mouth and Lexis placed a spoonful of the gruel in the prisoner's mouth. Lexis looked at the psychopath and noticed her tattered, bloodstained clothing, and she noticed raw marks where the bands had rubbed away her skin.  
"How long ya been in here?" Asked Lexis, trying to make small talk. The redhead just looked at her with a blank expression. Then just when Lexis was going to say 'o-kay just forget about it', she answered.  
"A long time" her voice was beautiful but she spoke with no emotion.  
"I think I've seen bricks show more emotion than you." Lexis said grinning. Then her grin disappeared as her eyes met the redhead's own eyes. "Hey uh...I was j-just joking, please don't bite my fingers off" the bound girl shook her head.  
"I won't." She said emotionlessly.  
"So, what's your name? Mine is Lexis, Thief extraordinaire." Said Lexis proudly.  
"Arialsa" she responded simply.  
"That's a weird, but pretty name. Especially for a psychopath." Said Lexis while placing another spoonful of gruel in Arialsa's mouth.  
"I'm not." Arialsa said interrupting Lexis.  
"Your not what?" Asked Lexis curiously.  
"A psychopath."  
"Well then..."  
"I was forced to kill everyone who was close to me, but I still cried with each death. There was a metal band on my neck. It controlled my actions, my facial expressions, everything. It could not stop all of my tears. I was able to cry a single tear for each death. I would escape, but I deserve worse than this for my crimes," explained Arialsa.  
"Wow. That's awful. Why didn't you tell the police that?" Asked Lexis.  
"They wouldn't believe me if I did, but if they did believe me, they would not punish me as much. I deserve this punishment and worse. Even if it wasn't me controlling my actions." Arialsa responded.  
"I don't think th-"  
"That I deserve this?" She finished. "I've killed so many people that it's nearly impossible to remember them all, but I see every single face when I sleep. They haunt my dreams each night." Lexis was silent, but became curious about something.  
"C-can I ask one more question?" She stuttered slightly.  
"Yes."  
"You almost speak as if you could actually escape from here. How easily could you escape?" Lexis asked curiously.  
"It would not be very difficult at all."  
"Wait! Seriously?! Wow and you just stay and let them do this stuff. How do you bathe?"  
"Yes, and once a week they bring in a powerful hose and spray me down."  
"Jeez! That's in humane"  
"Not really" she responded blankly. Then she was silent and Lexis left the cell, then was taken back to solitary confinement. Arialsa just sat there in her cell pondering the words of the girl who had come in to feed her. That girl was the first person to really make an attempt to converse with her. Arialsa found it strange, yet somewhat nice that someone would talk to her, but that thought quickly vanished as she yawned and remembered what sleep would bring her. The horrible dreams and her sanity draining away slowly but surely. She resisted the depths of sleep for as long as she could, but to no avail. She hadn't slept for ten days straight...because of the nightmares. She drifted off and easily slipped into her nightmares again. 

~Nightmare~

Arialsa found the collar around her neck again. The metal band that could shock her or control her movements at any moment. She reached up and tried to pull it off, but it shocked her like always. She began to cry screaming, but her voice wouldn't come out. The black around her became clearer and she found herself in a cell with metal bars that she couldn't break. She placed her forehead against the bars, sobbing softly. She felt herself being stabbed by metal poles and the shocking pulse of the neck band/collar. She felt each stab as if it were really happening. Then the floor fell out from under her, she fell with barbs ripping and pulling at her skin and she landed on her feet facing off against her own kind once again. She found herself killing them. She couldn't stand it, she didn't even have control of her body in her dreams. She heard their screams of terror and pain. The frightened looks of the children she had killed. Every face she could recognize as someone she had killed. Their blood flowed around her and began swirling around her in a bloody whirlwind. Their voices were screaming and pleading around her. Arialsa fell to her knees, covering her ears and hiding her face to try to block out the sound. She screamed along with them, adding her voice to the chorus. Suddenly all fell silent and Arialsa looked up to see the one little girl's face that haunted even her waking moments. Arialsa's face paled.The girl watched her with an empty face.  
"Why did you do it?" She asked Arialsa.  
"I-I didn't I-"  
"Why did you kill me?" Asked the girl interrupting Arialsa.  
"I couldn't contr-"  
"Why did you kill us?" Came the voices of others she had killed. The sound of their voices were coming from the one little girl's mouth.  
"No, please, I didn't want to!" Arialsa defended.  
"It's all your fault. Why did you do it?" Asked the voices from the little girl's mouth.  
"You could've stopped if you had really tried."  
"Why didn't you stop yourself?"  
"Why didn't you kill yourself?"  
"You're a coward."  
"You're a murderer!"  
"You killed us all!"  
"ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
"YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO DIE!!!"  
"PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES!"  
"ETERNAL PUNISHMENT!!"  
"NEVER ENDING DEATH!!"  
"Pay."  
"Pay!!"  
"PAY."  
"PAY!!!"  
The voices came from the little girls mouth and Arialsa howled in agony on her knees in front of the little girl. She had covered her ears again, but no matter how hard she pressed on her ears, the voices came through clear as day.  
"Make it stop! Please! Please stop!" She sobbed, but the voices just got louder. "NO MORE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT, PLEASE STOP!!!" She screamed a blood curdling scream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then she awoke.....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel now  
> This being inside me.  
> Her soul is black.  
> Her heart is ice.  
> She craves blood.  
> She is...  
> No, we are...  
> A psychopath
> 
> "She can't understand what you are saying..."
> 
> "You better not be making this shit up..."
> 
> "...there would only be one reason people like you would release a psychopath from a extremely high security prison."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those are random quotes from throughout the chapter. I hope that if anyone reads this that they will enjoy it. It is one of my darker works, but I like the idea even if no one else does. Anyways, if you like it or spot any spelling/grammatical mistakes please let me know in the comments, thank you!!!

She screamed a blood curdling scream. And then she awoke to a sudden pain in her stomach and five guards in the room looking at her like she was crazy. She looked bewildered and was breathing heavily. The one closest to her, that had delivered the kick to her stomach that had awoken her, rubbed his ears and grimaced. They shoved Lexis roughly into the room with her and then they left. Lexis gave Arialsa a concerned look. Arialsa still looked kind of crazed an frightened. Lexis moved closer and Arialsa freaked.  
"NO!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!! No! No. no. no... No more. No More! NO MORE!!! STOP! PLEASE STOP!!! NO MORE!!! STAY AWAY!! Stay away..." Arialsa was having a psychotic breakdown and her voice would go from screaming to whispering. She struggled in her bonds on the wall. She was whispering and screaming. Lexis backed away alarmed. She had watched as Arialsa had slept and was mumbling in her sleep. She had been mumbling for something to stop. And then she had screamed. Lexis hated to think about what she could've been dreaming about.   
"Arialsa?" She asked tentatively. "It's alright now. You're okay. No one is going to hurt you and you aren't going to hurt anyone. Will you tell me about your dream. You can tell me over your meal." Arialsa nodded and seemed to regain her composure. She breathed deeply.   
"How many days have I been asleep? I fell asleep shortly after you first brought me food."  
"It's been two days." Responded Lexis.  
Arialsa nodded in acknowledgement. "Why were you asleep for so long?" Asked Lexis.  
"I try to keep myself awake for as long as possible. I was awake for ten days straight. When I sleep I get the nightmares." Lexis just nodded in acknowledgement of this. She had no idea of the right words to even say in response. She began to feed Arialsa so that it would be done and the 'supposed' psychopath wouldn't die of starvation. She finally couldn't take the silence any longer.  
"I-I still believe that they should release you from such drastic entrapment." She started with a slight stutter, but ended with firm conviction. Arialsa just gave her an almost pitying look. 

Meanwhile, in the monitoring room, Luciano killed the guards on duty and sat down to watch the psychopath. There was no audio, but that didn't really matter to Luciano. He was more focused on the girl encased in bonds against the wall. He had hoped that she would look a little tougher, but he knew that looks could be deceiving. Very deceiving..... Lutz entered the room and glanced at the psycho killer through the screen. Then the two made their way out of the room and along with Kuro who met up with them after killing some other guards. They killed any guards in their path and eventually came to the heavy doors of the cell. They unlocked and pushed them open. Lexis stepped to the side in surprise. An eyebrow was raised in curiosity. Luciano's gaze fell upon her and his eyes narrowed.   
"Are you friends with her?" He demanded  
"Umm...I guess..." Responded Lexis. She glanced over to Arialsa and Arialsa gave her a look that said follow my lead and don't act confused about anything that I do.   
"Parition galez wershon martik lebow coulienty." Arialsa said strange words in a strange language, but Lexis heard everything clear as day in her head.   
"She can't understand what you are saying, and she asks if you are here to free her." Lexis told the group of 2p's  
"So you can understand her?" Asks Kuro curiously.  
"Uh...yeah. But I can only give you rough translations." Replies Lexis shrugging her shoulders. Luciano pulled out a knife and pinned Lexis to the wall with the knife at her throat.   
"You better not be making this shit up." He threatened.  
"Ha." Retorted Lexis somewhat nervously. "You think that we could communicate through some sort of gibberish that we made up on the spot?" Luciano nodded thoughtfully and backed off.  
"I guess you wouldn't. That would be nearly impossible." He told her. Kuro took some keys that he had found hidden and went to unlock the heavy locks on Arialsa's bonds. Arialsa stopped him, and then she literally just seemed to move slightly and they bent creaking and groaning, then they snapped like twigs. Everyone in the room just gaped at her. She stumbled a little and then regained her balance. Her long mess of red hair brushing the ground even in it's matted tangled state. Lexis moved to help steady Arialsa and Arialsa just let her. Her face still a blank slate of no emotion. Luciano just watched as Lexis tried to help Arialsa out of the room. Arialsa stood up and stepped out of the room without help. She turned to Lexis. "Leteeth comilla varinta terine, thi ve naresh o le zamara relientino." Arialsa told Lexis.  
"She says, thanks for freeing me, but I will probably be unable to help you." Lexis translated.   
Kuro have her a pointed look.  
"And why wourd that be?" He asked. Then Luciano spoke.  
"How do you know what we will even ask you?" He asked Arialsa.   
"Zener yoin mytern ware cora mari tuli yanko deri merub forinarenth veeternome lakin ni sha raniv elahadoyen houv wifon piolonar cinuf."  
"She said that there would only be one reason people like you would release a psychopath from a extremely high security prison."  
"A la crykin."  
"For killing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel now  
> This being inside me.  
> Her soul is black.  
> Her heart is ice.  
> She craves blood.  
> She is...  
> No, we are...  
> A psychopath  
> -From the Poems of the Tortured.  
> (This record was found among the ruins of the last Alvic city, Elysia. Recorded and bound by, Evanlina, the last Daughter)
> 
> I don't own Hetalia, or the characters or any of these pictures unless I say otherwise. Which so far, I'm not. All credit goes to the actual owners. I only own my plot and my non-hetalia characters.  
> ~ClaraAnne


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel now  
> This being inside me.  
> Her soul is black.  
> Her heart is ice.  
> She craves blood.  
> She is...  
> No, we are...  
> A psychopath
> 
> Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bleh....Such a short chapter, but I'm reaching the end of what I have typed so far. I only hope that I have new ideas soon.

Luciano grinned and shrugged his shoulders.  
"You are right there, but we need you. We will do anything in order for you to be able to kill again. You will kill for us." He said with a threatening undertone and finality with his last sentence. He was not asking if she could, he was telling her that she would be killing again. Pain flashed through her eyes just for an instant and then it was gone.  
"Niet kiro turangesh iz yamit" she told them.  
"She says that you will have to make her nightmares go away then." Lexis translated to the trio.  
"What?" Asked Luciano making sure that he heard right.  
"Her nightmares. She can't even sleep without having them. She goes days without sleeping because of them." Lexis added without Arialsa speaking. Arialsa nodded affirmingly. It was clear that she was weary, although it was difficult to tell whether or not it came from the chains and being in such sucky conditions or actual lack of sleep from bad dreams.  
"Lequis da se nier crykin a lin sta ven emist."  
"They keep her from killing anyone at any time." Lexis translated.  
"Just come with us." Luciano growled angrily and turned on his heel throwing the words over his shoulder. Arialsa followed after with Lexis following on her heels. Arialsa's hair was like a tangled, matted, dirty cloak around her.  
Suddenly a bunch of guards appeared and started shooting. Arialsa smoothly pressed herself to the wall. Lexis however was not so lucky. She was struck in the abdomen with a bullet. Lexis watched as Arialsa's eyes turned a mysterious black with flecks of color like a galaxy picture. Suddenly Arialsa was on top of the guards killing them without mercy. Shoving her hands into the guard's bodies as if her hands were nothing more than blades. Arialsa kept attacking and when she had killed the guards throwing their crimson blood everywhere, she stood slowly and faced Luciano, Lutz, Kuro, and Lexis. Her strange colored eyes glittered, the black emphasized by the low level light. She looked like a predator, a creature of the dark so evil that it should not even be spoken of. She attacked them, the 2p's barely held their own because they weren't human, but when she reached Lexis she tore her up easily with her now visible and tangible 6 inch claws. Her wild feral black cosmos eyes seemed to dominate her entire being. She no longer seemed to be Arialsa. She attacked with vicious savagery and when more guards came around the corner she attacked them with even more ferocity. Slashing open bowels or throats. Plunging her now bloody hands and claws into their chests, faces, wherever she reached first. Raking her claws down their bodies. Their screams and anguished cries nothing to her. She stopped looking around for something else to attack and her eyes landed on Lexis' bleeding injured body. Her eyes flickered and then changed back to their amethyst color. She had a look of nothing on her face. She stepped to her side and knelt. Lexis smiled weakly.  
"I suppose that you did warn me." Arialsa then picked up Lexis bridal style without a word and carried her along with them to the exit. Arialsa gently laid Lexis down when they were outside. She held Lexis' hand although she didn't look sad. Only a small spark of sadness deep inside her eyes was present.  
"Thanks for giving me an adventure." Lexis said before closing her eyes and slipping away. Arialsa set Lexis' hand down on her stomach and stood. She started walking away and did not even acknowledge the three men with her. She remained......

 

 

 

......cold......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, about the shortness and the way it's going. I'm just I don't know. I need to figure out more of the story to type. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, I would love to hear them. Thanks for reading!!  
> ~ClaraAnne

**Author's Note:**

> I feel now  
> This being inside me.  
> Her soul is black.  
> Her heart is ice.  
> She craves blood.  
> She is...  
> No, we are...  
> A psychopath  
> -From the Poems of the Tortured.  
> (This record was found among the ruins of the last Alvic city, Elysia. Recorded and bound by, Evanlina, the last Daughter)
> 
> I don't own Hetalia, or the characters or any of these pictures unless I say otherwise. Which so far, I'm not. All credit goes to the actual owners. I only own my plot and my non-hetalia characters.  
> ~ClaraAnne


End file.
